Feel and Timing

As predicted, things are returning to normal between Finn and I. He's been coming up to me in the pasture like usual, and today I turned him loose most of the way across the bottom pasture from Fiver and he showed no need to bolt away from me. In fact, he was still grazing happily where I left him as I pulled out the driveway. That's what I like to see.

I rode him today and yesterday... not unexpectedly, it feels a little like starting over again after his week of semi-vacation. I've been riding out from my car parked at the lower gate and the stretch of driveway that passed behind the upper gate and shelters is providing its usual challenge. Finn is convinced monsters hide there.

Yesterday, I confess I let myself get a little flustered and frustrated, but we eventually achieved some measure of understanding. I made the goal simple: take me to the next "safe-spot" (ie - the space where I park my car when I park near the upper gate) so I can dismount. We did quite a bit of trotting through the scary, squeezy part, and I allowed Finn to show me some rather impressive movement. A few times, he got very suspended and powerful in his trot, and boy is that a feeling! Although it's not coming from a relaxed state right now, I am reluctant to shut it down at this stage. In fact, I want him to feel he can offer that amount of energy and freedom while I'm on his back. I am sure going to want it later! This little horse is going to have an extended trot to die for one day.

Today, I planned to by-pass that confidence issue by leading him to the arena for a ride. I wanted to do a little work on the D,N exercises, because I am eager to keep making progress on that front. But somehow that ended up NOT being what we did. For whatever reason I was compelled to repeat yesterday's goal instead... take me to the "safe-spot" calmly so I can dismount and we can be done.

I'm glad I did, because I actually had an excellent ride. One of the things that was really getting to me yesterday was my failure to feel like I consistently get the HQ/FQ turns right. While I can generally get the HQ and then the shoulders to yield, I knew the footwork wasn't accurate, and I can't consistently cause Finn to step his forehand smoothly across. He is generally either lagging or leaping.

Yesterday I was squarely in a state of conscious incompetence... I felt like Finn was getting more dull to my rein and leg, but I knew that it was because my timing wasn't right and my feel wasn't accurate enough. I was asking him at times he was unable to comply, and not feeling his feet well enough to even know how close or far we were from getting it right. That's what really started frustrating me. But today I was able to keep the frustration at bay and simply practice... brushing it off when we totally missed.

That was a big improvement for sure. And I was able to feel for the hind feet moving under him as he yielded his HQ, and at least attempt to ask the FH to come through when it was able to. I'm aiming to ask when the outside hind lands, and I'm releasing for even small efforts if the inside front attempts to reach promptly when I ask.

This stuff is SO not easy. Trying to feel what the feet are actually doing has frustrated me endlessly for the last several years... frustrated me to the point that I usually just abandon it and continue on in ignorance. I want to be done with that pattern. There is, after all, only one way to get better, and that is to endure the frustration and commit to the long process of practicing until I get it.

I do so want to actually feel those feet under me, to be able to direct them with good timing and feel as though they are my own. I've got a lot of work to do.