Storm Central

All things considered, I hate to complain about the weather in Nevada. That doesn't change the fact that it's been threatening to thunderstorm every evening this week, though. Yesterday, Finn and I had a stellar ride despite the intermittent drizzle and some thunder rolling in the background. There were a few reasons I was really stoked about it:

First, Finn and his pasture buddy had been moved to a different pasture, which meant a slight change in routine. Namely, saddling out of my car and riding up to the barn was a different ride than it has been. Over the winter Finn was in this pasture and we struggled to make this ride successfully, but yesterday it was no big deal. Finn rode up there like a steady-eddy, been-there-done-that trail pony. Not a huge surprise based on the rides we've been having, but one of those great moments when you look back at how that would have gone six months ago and realize things are really coming along.

Second, while we were in the arena, something unknown caught Finn's eye at one point and really shook him up. He wanted to turn and stare, but I kept true to my intent and kept riding him forward until he got with me. After that, he was convinced that the whole lower long-side of the arena was a danger zone, which is not an atypical assumption for him. What I REALLY liked though was that throughout our ride we were able to have a conversation about it, and after a while, Finn believed me and let go of his worries, for real. This feeling of him truly letting go of his concern is still new enough to me that it feels marvelous. I've had too many experiences with Finn where I can get obedience from him, but I can't get him to actually release his troubles. But that's changing, which means I'm looking forward to it eventually being a thing of the past.

Third, after riding in the rain for a while and finally realizing it was not going to quit, I decided to pack it in. I almost decided to walk Finn home because with the weather being what it was, I didn't want to open some giant can of worms on the ride back to the pasture. In the end, though, I decided I could count on him, and if things went to pot I could always get off then. Well, not only did he ride home like a perfect angel, I was actually able to trot him a good bit of the ways without him getting worried or hurried or even the slightest bit tight about it. I reminded him once or twice to stay in a steady tempo and he took it from there. He even stretched and snorted some, and then came back to a walk off my seat. That was really thrilling. I think it really says something when you can "hurry" home on a horse without them thinking about taking over.

Waiting to see if the rain would clear up. It didn't.

Today, the thunder was even more frequent, and the lightning close enough to scare me off riding. I was bummed, but what can you do? Tomorrow, I'm hoping the weather will be better, because I have an overnight camping trip planned and I'd rather not be stormed on.

Did I mention I'm taking Finn camping tomorrow? It feels weird to call it a camping trip, since we're going less than five miles from the barn and we're only staying one night, but still. We'll be hanging out with seven of my local friends, none of whom I have ever been riding with.

I admit, I am a little nervous because Finn has never been out on the trail with more than two other horses, and tomorrow we'll be out with seven. I haven't had the most successful rides when we've gone out with three, so I expect the ride to require quite a lot of attention and horsemanship on my part to create a success for us. Oh, and we'll be at Washoe Lake. On the one hand, that's comforting, since we've been over there so many times I feel really comfortable with the surroundings. On the other hand, Finn has struggled there sometimes, and I probably shouldn't be dwelling on that nearly as much as I have been.

In any case, my goal above all for the whole "trip" will be to maintain a steadily patient and positive attitude for Finn. To remember to believe in him. On more of a strategy level, I will strive to remember my intent and offer him something really strong and consistent to join in on. Beyond that, I think I'll just have to play with the horse that shows up!

A second goal for the trip will be to simply have fun. I get to spend the better part of 24 hours hanging out with my friends and my horse, what could be better? Even if the rides don't go perfectly, that doesn't mean I can't enjoy it. I need to keep that one close to my mind!

Intent and Progress

I had an absolutely LOVELY ride on Finn last night. Yesterday morning, Parelli Professional Fawn Anderson posted a very insightful note on her Facebook group Classical Natural Vaquero that helpfully reiterated the ideas of intent and space conversations for me. You know how sometimes you hear something you’re heard dozens of times before, but something about this new presentations really helps it click? That’s what Fawn’s note did for me.

So I set out to be very conscious of intent throughout my time with Finn, both being clear with mine and listening for his, and the results were very positive. While I carried this focus throughout everything I did from beginning to end, I really want to talk about the ride…

It comes much easier to me to think about space and intention and “we” conversations on the ground. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I am just that much more confident on the ground… It’s not that I consciously feel nervous in the saddle, but I am aware that I am more self-conscious and more easily flustered when things go less than perfectly when I’m riding. Luckily I am a skilled enough learner now-a-days to just go out and give it my best shot, knowing I don’t understand it completely and knowing I might not be doing it “right.” But equally knowing that if I make the effort mindfully and with good intentions, I will figure it out.

Our ride consisted of things which I felt I could easily visualize and hold intention for, namely straight lines and small circles. We started out from my car near the pasture gate and began with a very simple pattern of “let’s walk over there, let’s make a small circle, let’s stop and rest” at a walk. It turned out that I was working towards getting the small circles from intent and legs alone, and it was very apparent when Finn’s intent was with me or not. I remained patient and focused on my intent and corrected with my reins and legs when he was distracted by his own plans.

I was releasing when I felt like he was maintaining the circle, including proper flexion (leading with his nose) just off my intent and leg position. While this was definitely working for us and helping us improve, I was conscious that it might still be possible that I missed the bigger picture of releasing for his intent aligning with mine. Just something I will continue to be conscious of as we play with this going forward.

After a few repetitions, it was clear Finn was getting it and I started feeling it was time to try it a trot, so we rode to the big arena to up the ante. Even the ride up was a success. It was a pretty windy evening, and Finn was a little concerned about a few things we passed, but by maintaining a strong intention and being particular that his intent should match mine, we were able to just walk right by.

Up in the arena, we got some circles at the trot I wouldn’t have even guessed we were capable of! I’ve been conscious lately that I haven’t done much dedicated circling with him in the saddle, so I was pleasantly surprised that he picked it up very quickly, especially so when Finn realized that getting to stop was on the other side of getting with me on the circle. Boy does this horse LOVE to stop and rest!

After a bit of excellent cantering, still thinking about Finn aligning with my intent, even though we didn’t do something as deliberate as circles, I rode Finn back to the car. Again I was really pleased, because I chose to ride him down a different way which took us through an area of the farm which often makes him a bit nervous. Once again, strong focus and intent got us through without a problem.

All in all, this ride really showed me two things. First, focusing on the intent, space and “we” conversations is definitely the path I want to take forward. Second, we have REALLY come a long way… much further than I sometimes give us credit for. Recently I have been noticing that I can guide Finn from my legs a lot more reliably now than I could six months ago - that’s a big, positive difference! And it definitely showed up with great clarity yesterday; I was really impressed with my boy!

Plus, I think about the fact that six months ago Finn and I weren’t consistently able to ride up to the barn from the pasture without a problem! I spent whole rides just trying to get him to stay connected within the first 200’ of the ride, never making it further than that. Which wasn’t a “problem.” No, that was the point. And each little success (Woohoo! We made it 200’ out and back with relaxation and connection!) is a fundamental part of the partnership we have today.

Earlier this morning, I saw a photo on Facebook that bore the quote, “Good horses are developed over years, not trained in months.” It’s not exactly a revolutionary statement, but it’s something I need to be reminded of ALL THE TIME. I get discouraged about our progress far too easily. Finn inevitably reminds me to re-think that, but he really shouldn’t have to. After all, how is he to believe in me, if I don’t believe in either of us?

Staying on Track

Lately I’ve been thinking about making progress and wondering if I’m making good use of my time with Finn. On the one hand, my motto is no moment is wasted that is spent with my boy. On the other, there are things I’d like to do with him someday, and I’d rather it not take many unnecessary years for no better reason than I didn’t do enough to keep myself on track.

It’s just tough sometimes to balance the “lets get stuff done” against the “everything means something, nothing means nothing.” Last week, for example, I got caught up in some stuff at liberty and the idea of getting our transitions to movement freed up and coming from behind, and pretty much everything else has gone by the wayside, even though I spent almost 20 hours with him! On Saturday evening, I decided to mix things up by having some fun trotting and cantering over poles, which caused me to realize how LONG it has been since we’ve consistently cantered during our rides. Once again, I got caught up in all the little exercises I learned at the Buck clinic, and they’re wonderful, but they have kept me from just riding my horse forward. When you’re like me and have a heightened sense of quality and feel in EVERY moment, sometimes it feels like you never get past square one.

It is possible I am making a mountain out of a molehill. I know we’ve made progress in the last six months, quite a lot of progress. But when I’m taking input from so many sources and trying to sew it all together into a plan that works for Finn and I… well, sometimes I feel I’m getting too off track.

I’ve thought about the possibility of taking monthly lessons to help me focus my efforts, and I’m not entirely convinced that’d be a bad idea, but money doesn’t grow on trees around here. Beyond that, I’d need to find a REALLY exceptional instructor who is willing to work with me as more of a sounding board and coach than a traditional instructor. I have someone in mind who might be able to do it… but I’m a little nervous about trying it out. One big plus of this option though: I think my riding has gotten quite sloppy. Finn would probably appreciate it if someone held me more accountable on that front.

I’ve also considered setting more short-term goals and making more short-term plans for the time I have with Finn. I could set monthly or weekly goals… or goals for whatever chunk of time I have home between braiding bonanzas. I’m leaning towards weekly plans… similar to what I laid out a few weeks ago, since that worked quite well. That way there will be some flexibility, but also some structure that will hopefully keep me from just doing the same thing every day and getting too fixated on one small detail.

Well, I guess I’ll contemplate as I head down to see Finn and perhaps come up with a plan for this week. A plan that will include taking Finn out riding and camping overnight at Washoe Lake on Friday night! We’ll be going out with a group of six other riders, a new experience for Finn who has so far only gone with groups up to three! Luckily we’ll get to do it twice in a row, which is always a recipe for improvement, because I think it might blow Finn’s mind a little to have so much company.

Anyway, I’ll get back to you on the plan. It’s about time to start preparing to head to the barn.

Puzzling...

What a flipping gorgeous evening to spend with my horse. It has been SO hot lately, but tonight presented the perfect combination of cloud cover, breeze, a spattering of rain and shade moving in… it was glorious.

View from the barn tonight.

While I did have an interesting ride expanding on the thought process I stumbled into yesterday, tonight I want to write about our liberty sessions, which have been equally interesting and puzzling. We’ve been continuing to play with the “Find Your Herd” exercise, but our connection is such that we don’t spend too much time there. We’ve also been playing with some basic yields and getting into a pattern of having conversations about space. Well, today and yesterday, we started out in the same place… Finn was definitely connected, but happy to follow me at his own pace, no doubt confident that he would catch me eventually.

Yesterday, I decided to experiment with sort of narrowing the safe-zone… When Finn got too far behind, I turned around and cleared the space/sent him to find his herd again. Admittedly, this felt not-great… very disharmonious, because I felt like I was breaking the connection when he was still sure we were together. If you could see the look of bewilderment on his face the first time I did it, you’d understand. It was like a confused “You don’t want me to follow you???” But I gave it the good old college try and after having to get quite loud to get him to understand that he should clear out, it did ultimately result in him quickly coming back with more energy.

After that, I stayed more high-energy and erratic, and he got more enthusiastic about following me… and also quickly more confident about my unpredictable changes of direction. The session ended with this:



I see a lot of good there. Perhaps my favorite part of the whole thing is the first few seconds where he leaves his leaf-snack to follow me without any reminder on my part. For sure he is sticking with me, and putting effort into it! But on the whole I really wondered about the session… did I break the intention of the exercise to get the result I wanted? I’m honestly not sure.

Today I took a different approach. After establishing that we had following going on, I moved onto practicing our basic yields, which went superbly. I then went back to FYH to see if I got any more motivation… the answer was no.

So, I moved onto blending having conversations about space with having conversations about energy, and tried to see if I could clear space effectively enough to have him trot off. I didn’t ask for a circle, but it’s what he offered… I think it happens pretty naturally when a horse is connected like he is. We got some really nice transitions from walk to trot through this, and I was able to send him off from a halt, too. All in all, I was really pleased with this! But when I went back to FYH, he was happy as ever to follow along at his regular amble. Hmmm.

I decided to send him out trotting and then turn and jog the other way… that got him catching up to me at a trot. I jogged around a bit, keeping things much more relaxed and flowing than yesterday, and he kept with me; maybe not RIGHT THERE with me, but matching my path and energy for sure. One thing that was interesting to me is I made a few gentle loops towards the rail to change direction, and he matched them perfectly by making a similar loop and switching sides behind me so he was still on the inside. That struck me because it was a REALLY different feeling that a game of Stick-To-Me, where I’d insist that he stay on one side and hustle to keep up. And yet it felt really… together. Together like a school of fish or a flock of birds. It was a nice feeling.

Eventually I ended the session when I got a really prompt transition to the trot, perfectly matched to the moment I started jogging. We didn’t get anywhere near the exuberance of the previous session, but on the whole today’s experience felt more harmonious. Perhaps because there was never any point where I really sent him off.

All in all, I’m not really sure if one approach was better or worse or more or less appropriate than the other. I’m still thinking about it. Possibly, they were both valid. Perhaps the first day would have felt more harmonious in the end if I had been more conscious to transition back to real peacefulness between our run-arounds. Ultimately the end goal is to have harmony and exuberance, so maybe these two sessions were just a really excellent way for me to practice having one and then the other… and if you transition between two qualities often enough, eventually the horse will offer them together.

Anyway, this liberty stuff is quite an engaging puzzle… especially so since I am trying to piece together a new approach to it from second-hand information. But I remind myself that I can’t go too far wrong if I keep the qualities of the end result in mind, listen to Finn, and keep a light-hearted attitude and an open mind. I also have to remember that perfection is NOT the goal, so there’s no point in fretting over not making mistakes. After all, it is when we fumble, get confused, and then find our way back together that our relationship grows stronger.

If _____ Was Better, Everything Would Be Better

The last three mornings, I have been experimenting with our conversations about energy and relaxation, on line and at liberty. This thought process comes to me via Karen Rohlf… as exercises to develop these conversations are the very first ones in her book. The basic picture is as simple as this: can you begin with a horse that is totally relaxed, ask for energy and get a response that matches your intention 100%, and then release and have the horse return confidently and immediately to relaxation?

While Finn and I have gotten some pretty good results in the last few sessions, today I just didn’t feel like he was quite there. He was definitely offering some good efforts. I questioned whether I was just being unrealistic in my expectations, as sometimes I can be. In the end, I think we kind of settled. I just couldn’t think at that moment what I might do to get a better result and I felt like it was turning into drilling.

Then, after saddling, I was working on Buck’s half-circle exercise while practicing a new mindset I’ve been trying out which involves moving space instead of moving the horse, and again Finn’s responses were nice, but just a TINY but sticky… almost imperceptible, but definitely not quite right if I was honest with myself. And as I continued to work through that, it became more and more noticeable to me that, in particular, it was his hind feet that were stuck.

So, I started focusing more on clearing the space under his hind feet and being more particular about what I rewarded and things improved. So I went back to the car to get my bridle, and quickly realized I’d left it at home. At first I was dismayed, because it meant I wasn’t going to be able to have the ride I’d been planning on. I almost just pulled the saddle off and called it a day. But in the end I decided to ride in the arena with a halter and one rein and continue the conversation we’d been having on the ground.

Picture the same exercise I described earlier, just translated to the saddle. It’s very basic. Is energy 100% available? Can we relax together? But getting this REALLY good is harder than you might think.

I continued to think about clearing the space under Finn’s hind feet… just picturing our bubble closing from behind. What I realized (or admitted to myself), is that often it feels like Finn is pulling himself with his front end, and that is probably why we don’t flow very well. That because especially clear after I felt the energy flow from behind a few times. Yup, that was different!

We played with halt-to-walk transitions, slow-walk-to-fast-walk, and walk-to-trot, all with the same focus and all countered by the question, “can we melt back to a stop/relaxation?” I felt enough to know that this is definitely a hole in our communication (the energy part, much more than the relaxation part), and as long as it is there it will continue to hold everything back.

So for now, this is the answer to the “question” I’m always posing to myself, again ala Karen Rohlf. It’s a fill-in-the-blank question: if _____ was better, everything would be better. I use it to focus my time and effort. If our communication about energy was better, if Finn flowed from his hind end better, everything would be better. I have no doubt.

The trouble is, it’s so easy to skim over these most basic of communications when they work well enough to get by. When things are pretty light and pretty smooth, it can be easy to want to work on other stuff and let that be. Or, it can be easy to enjoy the pleasant picture of almost being there rather than shake things up to get a better connection. I declare myself guilty on both counts!

I’m not really sure what direction my quest to get this working better will take. I will for sure be continuing to experiment with it tomorrow; maybe after that I’ll have a clearer idea of what the way forward will look like.

Back At It!

I’ve had a lovely couple of mornings with Finn since R and I returned from LA. We’ve been developing some Liberty building blocks and experimenting with some of the very first exercises in Karen Rohlf’s book, Dressage, Naturally. Also getting in some thorough grooming to make up for three weeks of absence. Finn’s mane went berserk while I was gone, starting to revert to its natural position on the left side of his neck, but on the whole he’s looking quite good. His dapples are spreading and he certainly isn’t lacking in shine:

Am I right?

After halfway-fretting over our last two rides being not-awesome while I was away, I decided to start with a ride in the small arena yesterday morning, but Finn was so great we ended up going for a little ride up the road past the big arena. Notably, our weightless trotting was superb in the arena. I found that particularly interesting because we really struggled with that last week at Washoe and worked at it quite a lot. I didn’t really feel like we’d accomplished much of anything, but the improvement over our typical results in the arena was significant, so maybe that time was better spent than I thought.

This morning, I was feeling much more ambitious, so we went for a much longer ride around the ranch and explored some totally new territory. Finn was really quite super about it all, a little hesitant and one silly spook in which he felt like he might trip over himself trying to back away from the object in question, but I was, for the most part, really pleased with how things went.

New territory!

I’ve been thinking a lot in these last two rides about really having a connection down to the feet during the whole ride and testing it frequently with long serpentines and turns. The thought I have in my head is that I want to be able to float that inside foot wherever I want at a moments notice. So we lingered in a few places doing figure-8s until the turns felt really good in both directions. We also worked quite a bit on keeping those feet available even when we were headed towards “home,” and even when we were going downhill. That turned out to be quite a challenge, but we eventually got it going really well. There was a point where I fell into my unhelpful pattern of frustration, but I recovered, so I’m not going to be too hard on myself.

I’ve stumbled across a mantra that seemed helpful for keeping my attitude where it should be as Finn and I set out to conquer the unknown. When Finn was a little “look-y” or distracted, I reminded myself and him that “it’s” not about that stuff. It’s not really about pushing him to face his fears, nor about getting to some pre-determined point no matter what’s in our way. It’s about us, practicing harmony and communication no matter where we might be. This helps me remember to simply ignore what I don’t want and reward what I do, and resulted in me having a pretty soft, confident horse to ride.

Last thing: I was reminded today of the great value in doing things twice (or more). I have often been too constricted time-wise to think about doing too many things twice, but not that I’m either away working or not (and therefore pretty much free), my schedule with Finn is predisposed to longer sessions. Today, I rode him up the driveway quite a ways past where we’d ever been before. Heading back towards home AND downhill, we were really struggling to keep together, as Finn was thinking “home!” much more strongly than I was. So, once we’d found some improvement and gotten back to familiar territory, I decided to try making the “home zone” hard work and the new section of the driveway more relaxing. We trotted for quite a ways, past the barn and up to the big arena, cantered some circles each direction in the arena, and then trotted all the way back to the hill up to the new area, then walked the rest of the way back to the point we’d stopped at before.

While we were up there, I got off, loosened the girth, and let Finn graze for a few minutes. He enjoyed that, of course:

Desert horses aren't too picky about their grass.

When I stepped back on and proceeded to ride back towards “home,” Finn was ten times more connected than before. I was so thrilled with the change. I think I have often missed the opportunity to get that much improvement in one session because I don’t have the time it takes to ride home and back out again. In any case, I will keep that in mind next time I’m wondering if I ought to quit or take one more go at something!

Anyway, with two really productive rides behind me, I am feeling much better. I’d say that I hope Finn is, too, except I don’t think he was nearly as bothered by those last rides as I was! Oh, wouldn’t it be lovely to be so in the moment as a horse.

Post-ride roll!

An Odd Juxtaposition

So I’m away again, off to LA for vacation with R this time, but I used my one full day home to spend the afternoon with Finn. S picked me up and we headed over to Washoe Lake State Park for the late afternoon and evening, and it turned out to be an interesting experience which gave me lots to mull over on the long drive down to LA today.

We started our afternoon with some Liberty in the public arena at the park, and I was so super impressed with Finn. His connection to me was even a little better than the day before playing the Find Your Herd game, and we moved on to playing with some yields and thoughts about the Friendly Game. S generously shared some info she’s learned from Aimee Brimhall (one super talented horsewoman, especially at Liberty!) whose insights I’ve been hoping to incorporate into my Liberty going forward.

There were two things that REALLY impressed me. First, even when Finn got a little confused about the Friendly Game and thought he should leave when I meant for him to stay, his version of “leaving” was to go out on a circle about 40’ in diameter at a trot. So even through his confusion he was doing his darndest to maintain the connection and stay with “the herd.” The other was that even when S decided to take her mare back to the trailer and tie her, Finn stayed with me! I thought he might get worried about his buddy going out of sight, but he seemed perfectly okay with it.

All in all, this experience at Liberty on top of the one the day before and all the others I’ve ever had with Finn add up to this “conclusion”: this horse has SUCH a strong desire to connect and be part of the herd. I mean, honestly, it’s really an exceptional quality… something I’ve always known about him, but maybe haven’t fully appreciated before. The “double-edge” to this is probably that it also increases his draw to other horses, which can be a challenge, but I still see it as more of a gift than a problem.

After our Liberty session, we took a break in the shade and then headed out for a ride. This time, though, we decided to experiment with heading out separately, because our last few rides at Washoe Finn has wanted to leave the parking area like his tail is on fire and I was wondering if it might be because he was anxious about “the herd” leaving. So I left ahead of Sally. Finn was still wanting to book it out of there, so I decided to experiment and let him… no faster than a trot, but I let him trot as fast as he wanted.

And trot we did, for a LONG while. I had to repeatedly remind him that the canter was off limits, and he eventually settled into a HUGE trot. I would have gone further, but I was conscious of Riley following along behind in the 90-some degree heat and his furry black coat, so I eventually decided it was necessary to prioritize getting the dog to water over following through on what I was hoping to accomplish with Finn.

Anyway, to make a long story short, the rest of our ride wasn’t terrible, by any means, but I rarely felt like Finn and I were really connected. We passed some other horses on the beach, and as usual he got pretty fixated on that, even though we were trotting small circles and turns the whole time they were nearby. We stopped in a few places to practice our weightless trotting and other exercises, but the feeling of constant ‘druthers was nigh impossible to overcome. Everywhere we stopped to work, Finn was drawing towards where we’d come from, and trying to get him to feel really under me was not working out that well.

If I’d had more time, I’d have used it, but the sun was going down fast so I eventually just decided to appreciate a little improvement and head back to the trailer. I guess the bottom line is, it wasn’t a terrible ride, but it was still somewhat disappointing to me. Not that I’m disappointed in Finn, but just that I didn’t really feel like that ride moved us any closer to our ultimate goals.

Today, I’ve been reflecting on the juxtaposition of the two experiences on the same afternoon. How can I have a horse who has SO much desire to connect, and yet have SUCH a hard time keeping him connected under saddle? I guess it’s not really a huge mystery, because the connection I’m getting from him in the arena at Liberty isn’t really under much stress… yet.

So I’ve been thinking about how I might begin to carry more of that connection with us, and I’m not sure what the answer is. It’s harder for me, mentally and emotionally, to be a good leader from the saddle, and also harder for me to wrap my mind around what the idea of “find your herd” and being a “we” looks and feels like under saddle. It’s definitely harder to be unattached to the outcome when I’m sitting on his back!

I don’t know… I admit, I’m a little discouraged. Probably more than I have a right to be. Honestly, maybe it just wasn’t the smartest move to try to get rides in at Washoe these last two weeks on the ONE day I had home to ride. For whatever reason, Washoe seems to really challenge Finn. It seems like we always have trouble leaving the parking area!

S will be gone for most of July, so Finn and I will have several weeks to focus on working and riding out by ourselves, once I get back from the trip to LA. As I’ve got plenty of time for him between braiding jobs, I’ll definitely invest some serious time in our Liberty, and I might also think about riding him twice a day when I can. When working means being gone for two and three weeks at a time, I feel I’ve gotta pack as much progress as I can into the days I have at home!

Anyway, these are the thoughts I’ll be turning over in my head throughout my time here in LA. I’m really looking to this vacation, but also really looking forward to getting home and back to trying to sort some things out between Finn and I.