Student Skills

"We also need to realize that although 'practice makes perfect', it is the practicing itself that is the art. Not only do we use techniques to create something else, but also the way in which we apply technique is an art in itself. It is this artful application that will lead to harmony no matter what stage you are in and will make the journey a pleasure." (Dressage, Naturally 44)

Of course I brought Dressage, Naturally to Texas with me. I've reviewed the relaxation and energy exercises and moved on to reading about the balance exercises. The review of the first exercises was an excellent reminder that "study" doesn't mean "read once." After a few weeks of experimentation, reviewing the text revealed several new insights and questions and potential tweaks to my approach.

Being an independent student is hard mental work. It requires a greater degree of self-discipline and self-management than learning with frequent coaching. Happily, I'd say my skills in this area are stronger than average, because I've practiced more than average. I haven't taken regular lessons since I began studying Parelli in January 2003, so although it's still a fight sometimes, I'm usually at least conscious of what I need to do.

As I delve deeper into the D,N text, a few important reminders have surfaced in my mind. Mainly, reminders to let feelings of overwhelm, confusion, or skepticism roll off my back. Some of the things Karen Rohlf describes, even in the most basic exercises, can sounds pretty abstract and esoteric. For example:

"Whenever he is in this better balance, I leave him completely alone, allowing him to explore the new sensations for as long as he is thinking about it. [...] My reminder for him can be as small as a glance at a specific body part and, in the end, he seeks and explores this himself. His focus becomes internal in a positive way as he is thinking about his own body. He is calm, free and energetic." (D,N 66)

At times, the subtlety and intimacy of communication Karen describes, the mental engagement and willingness she expects from the horse, is confounding. My internal skeptic wells up now and again, whispering to me, "That's not possible. You'll never get it." It is then when I must step in quickly and interrupt the thought. I have seen Karen accomplish too much to truly believe she is off her rocker! I have made a choice to believe her and to dedicate my honest best efforts to the exploration of her teachings. So I cut off the skeptic and reinforce my optimism, encouraging myself with the thought that open-minded exploration of quality information (which I have in this book) will lead where I want to go.

Which leads me to my next reminder for myself: be an explorer. For most humans, myself included, it is hard to maintain an attitude of exploration, because there is too much feeling confused, frustrated or foolish involved. When we don't KNOW the answer, we EXPLORE... which means there may be quite a lot of back-tracking, missteps, and general fuzziness involved. This is definitely NOT a comfortable place to be, and it is easy to let frustration get out of hand and despair to set in.

So, I am committed to keeping positive and light-hearted. I know I must allow myself to not know... to experiment and try my best. I must remember to be kind to myself and even kinder to Finn, and that we are in this together. And if I can do those things, I am well on my way, even when I don't know what I'm doing.